PREVENTION OF CAREGIVER BURNOUT ON THE JOB
Your job does not automatically shift its requirements, location, or other realities in order to accommodate the care of your parent. No matter what is going on at home, your job is still your job. You still have to get up each morning. You still have to commute to work. You still have to perform your required duties (and those famous other duties as assigned). And you still have to reverse it all at the end of your work day and prepare to do it again the next day and the day after that.
In fact, according to AARP's Public Policy Institute Fact Sheet, Understanding the Impact of Family Caregiving on Work, in order to cope with the heightened demands that caregiving adds to your work day, almost 68 percent of you ha
If You Think It's YOU
If you are feeling overwhelmed at work, chances are that others have noticed. Maybe they noticed that you've slacked off in your usually prompt turn-around time on deadline-sensitive assignments. Perhaps they noticed that your e-mail replies are terser and less friendly than before. Or it might simply be that they see that you are less happy, less healthy, and less vibrant than you used to be, a bright orange, turned to a dull yellow. And they are right. You are not your old self. You are now the caretaker of an ill parent.
If you're oversleeping and showing up late, and feeling or acting unprepared at meetings with coworkers, or fulfilling all of your duties beautifully but looking and feeling frazzled or friend much of the time, then it's you. It's your behavior that's ailing you right now. Either your actual job performance or your appearance at work has slacked off and it's probably at the same rate as your caregiver burden has increased and your rest, relaxation, happiness, in other words our time, has waned. We had better help you change all of that quickly. The good news is that you can change your own behavior by yourself, without needing anyone's permission or filling out a single form.
What You Need to Do
To end the work family conflicts in your life, first ask yourself why you aren't performing well, then don't stop at understanding why the problem exists, find real solutions to fix it.
Assuming you are not reliving your high school or college days of parties and pulling all-nighters studying or that you are not ill (please see a doctor to make sure), your general lethargy at work means you're not getting sufficient rest and sleep. Ask yourself why not? Are you dragging into the job, because ;you barely get home at night from either your parent's house or the nursing home, or ;you barely finish tending your parent in your own home, to check out the night's television lineup, or even to have a leisurely conversation with your spouse. The next day, you're physically tired, worn out, and a bit out of the flow of the wit all again that night, and the next night, and the night after that. And it isn't any easier if your day involved staying at home with three children under the age of five, rather than going into an office. Simply put: you need more time.
Now that we know that a general lack of time is at least part of the problem, let's take a second glance at your job performance and your caretaking situation. Assuming you are not a professional caregiver, are ;you actually concerned about your ability to care for your parent? Is stressful contact with you parent the real issue troubling you? Are you having issues with getting your parent to wind-down at the end of the day (sundowning), or avoiding confrontations over what he or she can and cannot still do (like driving, for instance)? It is difficult to add home care and personal caretaking to the usually already expert's assistance, a caretaker perhaps more appropriate to the level of care your parent now requires? Simply put: you need more expertise.
In other words, fix your time and expertise issues and you will cure your job performance woes.
You Are Burdened by a Lack of Time --
to Both Perform Your Job and Care for Your Parent
As the United State Department of Labor's (DOL) publication, Need Time? The Employees Guide to the Family and Medical Leave Act says, "In your time of need, sometimes you just need time." If a lack of time is your issue, you probably know it. If you think adjusting your job schedule is one of those things that ;you are interested in changing in order to improve your ability to continue your job and care for your parent, then consult your Human Resources Office and ask what schedule changes are available to you under either an internal policy the company or organization has or under the federal Family and Medical Leave Act. To prepare for this visit, try reading any materials your company provided to you when you first began work (and that they probably continue to make available on the company website). Also, read the Need Time publication mentioned above. You can find it on the DOL website at www.dol.gov/whd (the "whd" stands for wage-hour division) or call 1-866-487-9243 for more information. The publication tells you how the legislation works if you're a corporate employee or a school teacher, a flight attendant or a seasonal worker. That way you'll know what you are likely to received from your company in terms of access to an alternative work schedule (and whether what they offer you is indeed fair and right under the law) and how that could assist you by giving you the time you need to care for ;your parent and maintain good performance on the job.
Sometimes, it's harder than you expected to say exactly what the problem is. Maybe what you need isn't more leave time from work. Maybe you need the time you get when someone else is helping pick up the slack. Consider your feelings. Maybe what they are trying to tell you is that the adjustment needs to be to the level of support you have at home, not the time you need away from the job. You need to consider that possibility, just go over the facts of your own daily life. What about your: commuting time, the everyday tasks like grocery shopping and fixing dinner from scratch each night for ;your parent, and then having to prepare a separate meal for yourself, sorting through the household bills, tending to your parent--the sitting with him or her for hours, not to mention the bathing, toileting, dressing that takes place at the start of the day and again at night for bed. How about those annoying home maintenance tasks like taking out the trash, or those more major or seasonal tasks like changing the heating filter, putting plastic on the windows (to keep the cold air out and the heat in) in the winter, or shoveling snow off of ;your parent's sidewalks?
Can you now see that if you are the sole caretaker who is seeing and/or caring for your parent every evening, then it may just be too much for you alone? You are not lazy. You are not a bad employee. You are working a second job as a caretaker. When were you ever supposed to get to work and perform as a good employee, let alone work your job and have time for your own life? You need some help, if you are to continue to do it, especially if you hope to continue to do it well.
Moreover, maybe it's not just your parent's home or your parent's care in your own home, but the ordinary stuff of everyday life that is just too much right now in addition to your caretaker role. Besides the schedule options that may be available to you under the Family and Medical Leave Act, there may be practical things that if changed on the home front could make hug difference for you at work. Could you talk to the people who inhabit that currently pressurized space with you at home? Let's say your husband is not the fire-walk-with-me type. Moreover, let's say he is unlikely to understand or to be sympathetic to your feelings of being overwhelmed. He sees himself as working as hard, if not harder than you, and being able to handle himself and his life just fine. Plus, he's got his own problems (living with his mother-in-law, for instance). There still may be hope to gain his assistance in freeing up more time for yourself and your life. Okay, well maybe instead of bugging him over and over to help around the house you can imply say that you will spare him the long talk if he will just agree to load and unload the dishwasher every day. You can add that he doesn't have to do anything else except that. Sometimes this is just the low wattage kind of conversation that can get some people helping in areas where you need relief. In the end, you may come to enjoy getting what you need without an hour-long conversation or argument. You gain time in your day--at least 30 minutes a day probably --and he gets peace. Not a bad trade. Perhaps you can even get the kinds onboard by asking them to pitch in by gathering their laundry themselves, or by jotting down what they will need in the morning on a family white board in the kitchen. That way you're not hunting under beds and in corners for things that only they know where they were put and you can plan ahead and save time sifting through school-related e-mails while you brew coffee, try to feed the dog, and try to remember where Emma's tack shoes are at the last minute in the morning.
If that's you, if you see now that your problem is a lack of support and resources to give you back the time for rest, relaxation, sleep, and your job, then now we can start looking at steps toward some possible solutions for you. I say steps toward, because as you will find out there is no one-size fits all, put it on and your life is all better solution here or anyplace else--at least not that I have been able to find, and please write if you find one. We've got to cut down on the time you expend caring for your parent by yourself. In other words, what appears to be a lack of time is actually a lack of support. You need others backing you up, helping you, carrying part of your load. You need a second-string team for when the first-string needs to sit itself down on the bench for a few plays.
There are at least three practical things that people will usually suggest. Don't say they won't work until you try them:
- Can any other member of the family visit mom or dad on weekday evenings and you take the shift on the weekend?
- If another family member cannot assist your parent, could paid help substitute for some of the time you currently give your parent?
- Could you telephone, FaceTime, or Skype with your parent during the week and save commuting to see them for the weekends?
If there steps don't work, then here are some others that might help increase your level of support for your new caretaker role and improve your ability to perform well on the job:
- Could you take a step back and r or not you should be your parent's caretaker? If your parent was not the parent you needed, especially if there was any kind of abuse present, consider the added stress you are putting yourself under navigating that parent-child dynamic and handling the effects of an illness and f (and your parent) by backing off.
- Could you then thoughtfully opt out of hands-on caretaking and perhaps provide long-distance caretaking, where you provide what they need through another relative or a facility? It might be best for both of you.
- Could you find short cuts or assistance to handle: cleaning the house, buying groceries, feeding and walking pets, or ordering special personal supplies for your parent, for example?
- Could you try a meal service to deliver the nice dinner that you drop by each evening? These services, which once only delivered to so-called "shut-ins," now exist for seniors, families-on-the-, and those with special dietary needs.
You are Burdened by a Lack of Expertise--to Care for Someone with Alzheimer's or Other Dementia and Have Anything Left for Your Job
Organizations from the National Institute of Health's National Institute on Aging, to the Alzheimer's Association are beginning to look at family caregivers, their levels of expertise, the gaps that may need to be filled, and how to best intervene and help these individuals. There are studies now that focus on caregiver intervention. Investigators want increases the caregiver's comfort, health, and adjustment levels; relieves caregiver burden; and improves the health and functioning of the Alzheimer's or Dementia patient. Some studies look at improving basic physical caretaking skillsets, while other studies focus on the caregiver's interaction with the Alzheimer's or Dementia patient him or herself, helping caregivers handle symptoms and behavioral issues such as a parent's elevated anxiety and confusion at the end of the day (called sundowning) or other matters.
For example, the National Institute of Health (NIH) National Institute on Aging's Alzheimer's Disease and Related Clinical Trials website area (www.nia.nih.gov/alzheimers/clinical-trials) offers you an opportunity to access information on caregiver-focused studies. Once there, you can either consider taking part in a study yourself or read study results and conclusion, which may give you some much needed insight into both your own and your parent's issues and increase your personal knowledge base and expertise. One particular study, Powerful Tools for Dementia Caregivers[3 ], which is co-sponsored by the Florida Department of Health, Ed and Ethel Moore Alzheimer's Disease Research Program, and is currently taking place at the Florida State University College of Medicine in Tallahassee, Florida, is testing intervention with a six-week psycho-educational program also called "Powerful Tools for Dementia Caregivers," which involves caregivers attending workshops led by trained professionals, who focus on increasing caregiver knowledge and comfort and decreasing caregiver stress and burnout, including the kind that leads to problems with job performance.
Are you home in plenty of time to manage your evening routing, and you've figure out how to get your sister or brother to lend a hand, but you still spend most of the night upset over the various caretaking chores at hand? Assuming you called your doctor for an appointment and made sure that your general inability to get your job and your caretaking tasks done to allow amply downtime isn't being caused by a physical ailment, are you actually suffering from a sense of bewilderment at how to even begin taking physical care of your parent? If that's you, then you may see now that it's not a lack of time or needed support, but rather a lack of expertise that's keeping you worried, stressed, and unfocused on the job.
Could it be that like many family members new to caretaking roles you are stumbling through, trying to learn things as fast as you can, and always feeling one step behind? If so, then a lack of expertise in managing your parent's Alzheimer's or other Dementia might be the most important issue affecting you. You certainly need to get some assistance with being the caretaker of an adult. You may also need to decided that you might not be able to fulfill what your parent needs in terms of a caretaker. You may have to let more qualified people step in and take over.
Let your honest answers to the questions here allow you to figure out exactly what your lack of expertise is really costing you. Consider the following questions:
- How comfortable are you in caring for your parent?
- Is this the first time you have cared for someone who was not a small child?
- Do you feel that you lack the skillset required to do it properly?
Assuming that the usual suggestion of having another family member help is either not possible, or would not provide the level of expertise your parent now requires, could some of these suggestions provide the level of care that you alone cannot:
- Could you get training from a local Alzheimer's or other Dementia organization in the best way to rend to a family member being cared for at home?
- Could you join a local Alzheimer's or other Dementia support group to create a regular support system for yourself, where you call a group member after a tough evening with your parent? A group member could probably related to your problem better than a non-caregiving friend and be able to provide a knowledgeable sort of reprieve from the strain of the day. That way, the last thought in your head as you try to drift off to sleep is a joke you shared with him or her, and not a stressful moment trying to get your parent to eat something.
- Could you access nationally available resources from government sponsored organizations, such as those available through the Department of Health and Human Services (the National Institute of Health [NIH]), for increasing your caregiver knowledge base? NIH is associated with studies throughout the country and ADEAR--which stands for Alzheimer's and Related Dementia Education & Referral and is a clearing house for useful information and resources. ADEAR is available both online, through the NIH website, and is a phone call away, at 1-800-438-4380.
- Lastly, could you either hire a caretaker to come for several hours or live in, or could you find a temporary or more permanent facility, such as an appropriate adult day care, respite care, assisted living, or nursing home facility--whichever is appropriate to your parent's care needs that will prepare special meals, handle toileting, bathing, and dressing, if these tasks are particularly difficult for you? (Note: Medicare does provide caretakers for several hours a week, depend on the diagnosed illness and other details--please consult their website, Medicare.gov, for more information about how this service works and whether it would work for your parent.)
Additional Suggestions to Burden-Proof Your Job Performance
In my eldercare book, Thirty Essential Tips to Start Managing the Alzheimer's or Other Dementia, Your Parent, or Yourself, which is free to Amazon.com's Kindle Unlimited subscribers, there are tips that elaborate on the suggestions mentioned here. The book has tips that can help you: find out more about clinical trials (Tip 3), or decide whether or not you should be your parent's caretaker at all (Tip 4), figure out how to handle home maintenance (Tip 7), use technology to help your parent (Tip 5 and Tip 6), help you assess your parent's need for more advanced care (Tip 16), figure out ways to pay for care (Tip 17), and consider possible housing and living options (Tip 18). In addition, the tips can help you to manage caretaking with siblings and other relatives (Tip 27) or even thoughtfully opt-out of hands on caretaking (Tip 26), if you decide that you want to or need to do so.
Conclusion
Your job can positively affect your ability to start to manage the Alzheimer's or other Dementia, your parent, and yourself, but before that can happen, you need to get your job house in order. Once you get the hang of how to evaluate your situation, you can do a lot to start relieving the effects of your new parental caretaking role and improving your job performance (and ultimately your life). Hopefully, this article helped you to get started with that.
For More Information
For more for caregivers, visit the Alzheimer's Association (Alz.org) website's Alzheimer's and Dementia Caregiver Center. The information and articles there will help you realize just how normal it is to have problems combining work and taking care of a parent with Alzheimer's and Dementia. Not only that, but it will connect you to resources you may not see elsewhere. Also, consider reading my book, Thirty Essential Tips to Start Managing the Alzheimer's or Other Dementia, Your Parent, or Yourself. As noted above, it has additional suggestions or ways to start managing your life rather than being managed by your caretaker role.
References
Feinberg, Lynn and Choula, Rita. AARP Public Policy Institute (aarp.org/ppi) Fact Sheet 27, October 2012. Understanding the Impact of Family Caregiving on Work. https://www.aarp.org/cotent/dam/aarp/research/public-policy_institute/ltc/2012/understanding impact-family-caregiving-work-AARP-ppi-ltc.pdf (accessed March 10, 2018).
Terracciano, Antoinio, PhD. National Institutes of Health (NIH) National Institute on Aging. Florida State University College of Medicine, Tallahassess, Florida. Powerful Tools for Dementia Caregivers. (2018). https://www.nia.nih.gov/alzheimers/clinical-trials/powerfull-tools-dementia-caregivers (accessed March 19, 2018).
United States Department of Labor (dol.gov). Need Time? The Employees Guide to the Family and Medical Leave Act. https://www.dol.gov/ fmla/employeeguide.pdf (accessed on February 21, 2018).
About the Author
Charlotte Keys is a professional writer and editor, who has worked for several major corporations. She is encouraged by the growth in Alzheimer's and other Dementia research and in caregiver intervention and assistance, and urges support of those efforts.
